Homebirth is something that I think a lot of dads are skeptical about at first but, as I have found, most dads become practically evangelical about homebirth afterwards. The first question most dads pose is "What if something goes wrong?" Homebirth midwives are trained to handle emergencies and bring equipment to the birth that you would find in any small hospital, including medications to prevent excessive bleeding. Studies consistantly show that planned homebirth with a qualified attendent is as safe or safer than hospital birth and entails far fewer interventions and greater parent satisfaction.
     Homebirth is every bit as beneficial to dads as it is to moms and babies. First of all, dads participate much more in homebirths than in hospital births. In the hospital, many dads describe feeling out of their element, being shoved to the side and made to feel unimportant, and being forced to be a medical advocate. In addition, there is the stress of driving to the hospital, seeing your partner being forced to comply with hospital policies that create more pain, and being seperated from your partner or baby or both after the birth.
     As a homebirth midwife I understand the sacred role that dads play in birth. No matter how well I have come to know both of you before your birth, I cannot ever know her as well as you know her. You are the person she feels most comfortable with and you are the greatest source of pain relief and encouragement for her. This can feel like a daunting task. A lot of dads wonder if they can do it. Of course you can! The only thing you need to do is love her. It sounds simple but birth is an intimate experience and your touch, your kisses, and your loving encouragement is all she will need from you. In these circumstances, it will not be the stereotypical "I hate you! You did this to me!" that we often see in movies. That is a woman who is out of control. When a woman is in her own environment, she feels in control, and so do you! Before labor even begins, I will teach you the elements that I know to be necessary to have an ecstatic birth experience. You and your partner will also discuss your expectations of each other and work together to create a positive birth space. During labor, you will be free to do whatever you need to do. You can join her in the birth tub if you wish. My suggestion is to give a lot of thought to receiving your own baby as he or she emerges. At home, you will truly feel that it is your birth and your baby. Of course I will be quietly standing by, encouraging both of you and ready to help if you need it. My wish is for you to know the joy of birth the way it is meant to be, undisturbed.