I've been attending births for about 13 years now and over that time I've been to around 450 births. They've been all different kinds of births. I've seen homebirths, hospltal births, birth center births, births in a hospital in Jamaica that had little equipment or medications, births that were triumphant, and births that were traumatic. I've seen and experienced a lot!

I've been asked to share my experiences and knowledge by many people over the years. So what kind of information do I usually share with people who ask? It depends on who they are. I understand I can't sell homebirth to everyone and I don't try to. For those who choose to birth in the hospital, I encourage them to do the following things:

~Educate yourself: You wouldn't even walk out on a showroom floor at a car dealership without researching it first. Knowledge it power!
~Ask questions before each and every test or procedure is suggested. (BRAIN: Benefits?: What are they? Risks? What are they and how likely are they to happen? Alternatives? Is there anything we can try first? Instinct? What is my instinct telling me I should do? Nothing? What if we do nothing?)
~Hire a doula: A doula is like a guide in uncharted waters. No matter how many books you read or how many classes you take, you can still feel unprepared for labor. Your doula is like the cliffnotes version of your childbirth class right there in the labor room with you! She provides comfort and information to both of you and you should not birth without one! Why? You will be treated differently with a doula by your side. They know they can't just do whatever they want, you have a witness. 
~ Question whether your provider is the one for you: Don't just keep going back to someone you aren't 100% comfortable with. There are lots of options. Again, it's just like buying a car. You'll feel better about your choice if you researched your options and then made your choice.

For people who are interested in birth center or homebirth, I like to share the following things:
~ For most out-of-hospital births the same midwife who you saw for prenatals will be there at your birth. No strangers, no surprises.
~ Prenatals with an out-of-hospital midwife are more family-centered and encompass both your physical and emotional development throughout the pregnancy. Doctor or hospital-based midwife = 1 hour in waiting room, 7 minutes with your provider, MAX. Out-of-hospital midwife = 1 hour actual face-to-face time, MINIMUM, no waiting.
~ Birth feels different when you are in the comfort of your home, able to do whatever you want to do, eat whatever you want to eat, and are attended by people you know and trust. In this situation, it feels managable and you feel in control.
~ Birth is safe at home: My joke is that we don't just show up with a birth drum and a feather, though we bring those too! We bring equipment that any small hospital might have. We're also specially trained to be able to detect potential problems ahead of time and handle any emergency that arises. Emergencies rarely if ever happen without warning. Reputable studies show that homebirth is just as safe or safer as hospital birth and involve significantly less interventions.
~Your baby will be treated with respect and will not be taken from you...EVER!
~Postpartum visits take place in your home because...you just had a baby!

It all sounds incredibly reasonable to me! And let me tell you, this knowledge doesn't come from books. It comes from experience! I'm not a zealot. I don't have these ideas for no reason. They are based on my experiences and I tell you, if you had my experiences, you would feel the same way I do. I've often thought if people could see what I've seen, they would see the problem! So I thought I would write about some of the things I have seen. Each and every one of these things actually happened. Don't worry, I'm not telling horror stories! I'm also not being selective about my experiences to try to paint a certain picture. The specific situations I am discussing are the most typical births I have attended, not exceptions to the rule.

Some people ask me why I'm such a huge proponent of homebirth and I like to say, "Because I've seen birth in the hospital!" The response is the same for countless others that have been where I have.  I've seen birth after birth in the hospital where women are treated routinely. This is a once in a lifetime event in their life but to that nurse or that doctor, it's Tuesday, just one more day until my day off.

I've seen what happens when women don't question their doctor as to WHY they are being induced. When they ended up with a cesarean for "failure to progress" the nurse said it was because the mom's body "wasn't ready yet. Why did you come in for an induction anyway?"

 I've seen what happens when a couple gleefully tells me about how their doctor or hospital-based midwife is going to be on-call "just for us!" Uh...no, sadly they are not!

 I've seen what happens when a woman specifically asks for no male providers and is greeted upon admission with a male doctor as he proceeds to do a vaginal exam without permission, before he's introduced himself.
 
I've seen what happens when a couple decides it's not necessary to go to a childbirth class and then has no idea what the doctor is talking about. "What's a cervix?"

I've seen what happens when a woman feels like birthing at home is "wierd" and "people might think I'm wierd if I do it"...and then she doesn't feel comfortable at all in the hospital environment.

I've seen what happens when a dad thinks he can definitely handle doing all of the labor support for his wife without a doula...and 42 hours later is he exhausted and regretful.

I've seen what happens when a woman doesn't really like her doctor but she's afraid his feelings will be hurt if she changes providers. Guess what? He's 100x as bad in labor as he is in the office. 

I've seen couples be terrified into doing something they know in their heart they don't want to do because someone finds it necessary to "pull the dead baby card" as I call it. You should never have to threaten a patient into doing what you want them to do by telling them their baby could die if they don't.

I've seen women have 20 or more vaginal exams during the course of her labor, by many different people. Her vagina is supposed to be a sacred place at any other time of her life but this is BIRTH! Put your feet up in the stirups and let everyone in the hospital in there!

I've seen women be forced to lie down when it is excruciating for them to do so for.no.reason. I've seen those same women finally submit to an epidural because they can't take it any more.

I've seen nurses act more like drug pushers than nurses. "Are you sure you don't want an epidural now? How about now? Come on, everyone's doing it."

I've seen endless parades of staff coming through a room to examine the woman with the wierd whatever. Yes it's a teaching hospital but this woman is trying to give birth!

I've seen women yelled at and told they don't know what they are doing. "You'll never figure out how to push if you don't listen to us!"

Nearly every birth I've seen at the hospital ended with the entire room yelling "Push!!! 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 Now PUSH AGAIN!!!" Next time you're doing something difficult, see if that helps.

I've seen a doctor say if he doesn't cut her, her baby will never come out and will die in the birth canal. The baby was born 1 minute later without assistance.

I've seen a doctor who refused to deliver a woman unless she was on the bed. Thankfully the father caught the baby before he hit the floor as she was walking to the bed with her baby crowning.

I've heard the cries of a woman begging to be given her baby and then heard the nurse say "It'll be just a few minutes. I have to weigh him, give him his shot, give him his eye ointment, diaper him, and swaddle him. THEN you can have him." She just birthed a baby after losing her first one and you are going to deny her the first 30 minutes of that baby's life for WHAT?
 
I've seen babies go to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) for silly hospital policies such as: The baby is under 5lb, albeit 1 oz under, and the parents are VERY short, small people. The baby is under 37 weeks, albeit 36 weeks and 6 days...The baby's temperature is .1 degrees too cold, we have to take her to NICU. Believe me, if you are a baby, you want to do everything you can to avoid NICU!

I've seen NICU staff tell parents that they can only hold their fullterm newborns 1 out of every 3 hours, not because it is for their baby's health but because it's NICU policy. I've come to understand that NICU's "Hands On" policy actually means hands OFF.

I've seen moms forcibly stretched by doctors doing "perineal massage" (not the real perineal massage, this is no massage!) who then tell the woman that pain she's feeling is from the baby's head. 

I've seen women talked into scheduled cesareans rather than being given the support they need.

I've seen women be talked into repeat cesareans because of the risk of uterine rupture. That same doctor then induces a mom with a previous cesarean, upping the chances of rupture from .5% to 3%. I guess the doctor doesn't care about that .5% as much as she emphatically stated.

I've seen a woman at 10cm be forced to under-go a repeat cesarean because she didn't follow hospital protocol in coming to the hospital at the first sign of labor.

I've seen the nurse turn on pitocin when a woman was 9cm, calm, and relaxed. As the nurse said, "She's not hurting enough to be 9cm."

I've seen an entire staff of a hospital not provide any assistance when the mom threw up on herself after they forced her to chug 2 liters of water. Not a towel, not a mop, not a napkin.

I've seen a couple be pressured into amniotomy at 5 cm (manual rupture of the baby's protective amniotic sac) to screw an internal monitor into their baby's scalp because the baby forcibly kicked the belts of the external monitor every time they put them on. Smart baby I say!

I've seen a woman be given an epidural when she was 10cm and pushing just because the anesthesiologist hadn't been able to get to her until then. She then spent 2 1/2 hours trying to push her baby out who was in distress and needed to be born. She had absolutely no feeling except that helpless feeling of knowing her baby is in trouble and she couldn't help him.

I've seen a woman arrive at the hospital at 10cm with the baby's butt crowning, then rushed back for an "emergency" cesarean where the baby had to be pushed back up to be delivered. All of this despite her protests "I don't want a cesarean! If the baby is coming, can't I just push and give birth vaginally? Please let me birth my baby! I don't want a cesarean!"

To be honest, this list is but the tip of the iceberg of the things I have seen in my 13 years as a doula and midwife.   

I've seen some nice births in the hospital too but those only happened when people did those things I mentioned before. They educated themselves, hired a doula, chose the best provider for them, and asked questions before deciding on any test or procedure.

In those situations, I've seen a woman say things like "Oh you need to assess my baby? Well you can do that while I am holding her, thank you!"  

I've seen a woman who slapped the midwive's hands away when she went to do a vaginal exam without permission and declared "Don't touch me! I'll let you know when and if it's ok."
 
I've seen a dad get angry at the nurse for forcing his wife to lie down, despite the midwife's written orders that she could be off the monitors. He yanked the belts off of her and threw them at the nurse when he (yes the nurse on L&D was a man) refused to take them off. (I always tell parents that you catch more bees with honey but in this situation, it was very effective!)

I've seen a dad who openly questioned the lab results of his newborn girl who was in the NICU and then told the doctor that if she tried to lie to him again, he was moving his daughter to a different NICU.

I've seen a mom refuse to go home when she was discharged and her baby wasn't. She spent the next 7 days and nights in NICU with her baby, happily and cheerfully going against the policies that would prevent her from holding or breastfeeding her baby on-demand, the policies that had NOTHING to do with her baby's health.

I've seen parents who asked questions every step of the way on their birth journey and made every decision that led up to their cesarean. They never felt out of control or forced to do anything because they had educated themselves and made decisions based on the information and their own instincts. They never questioned the outcome, ever.

I've seen women birth their own babies, even in the hospital.

I've seen a dad crawl right into bed with the mom and tell the nurse (jokingly but also serious) "I guess I'm your patient too. If she wants to be cuddled, I'm going to do that for her no matter what anyone else says."

I've seen a couple patiently wait 48 hours after her water broke at home and then announce to the doctor that yes, it had been 48 hours but they had been monitoring for infection and were not going to come in for an automatic induction. She birthed 3 hours later.
 
I've seen a woman who had to be induced at 37 weeks be offered a cesarean because an induction would be likely that fail and would probably take at least 3 days. With the power of her mind, she willed herself into labor and gave birth painlessly 5 hours later, much to the shock of the doctors!

The commonality with all of these births is that the couple knew what they wanted and they were insistant that they were going to get that. They expected and demanded integrity of the staff. Most of them were extremely nice about it but left absolutely no question as to their own intentions. I like to remind people that these people work for YOU, not the other way around!

Homebirths are a stark contrast. Rather than good birth outcomes being few and far between, they are the norm. The majority of births at home are quick, involve very little if any pain, and result in a securely attached mom, dad, and baby. The difficult ones are the ones that are few and far between. When a woman births at home, she is in her own space and she feels she can do whatever she needs to do, without having to ask permission.

At home I've seen a woman smiling, joking, and happy at 10cm. As in, you could barely tell she was in labor.

I've seen a woman silently breathe her baby out and then announce to everyone, "The baby's out now."

I've seen a young dad bond instantly to his baby as he helped bring her into this world.

I've seen a mom say after every surge "That one felt sooooo good."

I've seen a mom bring her baby to the surface of the water and say "Hi Baby! I love you so much that I'll never let anyone take you away from me! EVER!"

I've seen babies who never cry the whole 4 or 5 hours I am there after the birth. Why cry? They have everything they need!

I've seen babies make their journey completely on their own to the breast and latch on, without assistance from mom.

I've seen a baby completely birth himself, without mom's assistance. As mom said "He's coming! But I'm not pushing, HE is!" Babies are smart and they are strong!

Every time I am at a homebirth, I think to myself that this is how birth is supposed to be! Women birthing without fear, surrounded by loving support. Babies coming into their parents arms, feeling love and peace as their first emotions, instead of fear and pain. Families supported in their home environment and encouraged to make their own decisions, rather than listening to the decisions of their provider. Families supported through their transition, creating strong, emotionally stable, loving bonds. This is how birth is supposed to be! I'm not biased, I'm RIGHT!!!

I'll admit it. I'm a 16 and Pregnant addict! Of course, anyone that knows me knows that I'm into just about anything with pregnancy or birth in the title. After watching one recently I was struck at how roughly the baby was handled right after the birth (which is very routine from the hospital births I've seen) and how completely unbothered the parents and grandparents were about this treatment. I've seen it at least 100 times. The baby's emerges, he is roughly rotated (a job he can do on his own by the way!), extracted from his mother's body, flipped over on the doctor's forearm, bulb syringe roughly inserted up his nose and in his mouth, and then flopped over into a waiting nurses arms. The nurse proceeds to take him over to the "baby station" where he is placed under the brightest of bright lights and his skin is roughly scrubbed until no trace of vernix remains on his skin. A tube is inserted up his nose and then down his throat to suck out any remaining mucus. A shot is given in his thigh and antibiotic eye ointment is rubbed into his eyes, blurring his vision. Through all of this, he screams in fear, pain, calling for his mother. She's the only things he's ever known. Where is she? Unfortunately, she is watching helplessly from her hospital bed. As was the case in this 16 and Pregnant, too blissfully unaware that this is NOT ok. She looks on lovingly, in awe, and seemingly doesn't notice her baby's anguish. 

I don't blame the mom or the father or the grandparents who all witnessed this post-birth treatment and did nothing. I think we've become desensitized to this kind of treatment. Just turn on any Baby Story or Birth Day. Walk into any birth room at most hospitals in the US and you see it. You'll see the blissful, loving look the moms have on their faces while their baby screams. It's part of our culture. The baby comes out and they SCREAM right? How many times have you heard "We were really holding our breath there, waiting to hear the baby cry. Then we knew everything was ok!" 

After I saw that show, I thought to myself that outside of birth, that kind of treatment would be unacceptable. If someone roughly grabbed a mom's baby out of her arms and proceeded to change the baby's diaper in the same manner, you better believe a Mama Bear will come out! Why is birth so different? Is it because she's in a birth haze? Is it because she feels she has no power? Or is it because every show she's ever seen has shown newborns being treated that way and therefore it must be NORMAL. Or worse yet, NECESSARY. It's not!

Do babies need to cry? Actually no. Many of them do not or only cry for a short period of time. Some of them do come out "telling their birth story" as I say and bless us with their cries for some time after the birth. They aren't crying because they are in pain though and there's a big difference.   

This baby was born in a home waterbirth. She never cried though her heartrate and resperatory rate were even and normal. Her lungs quickly cleared of fluid. She connected with her parents for a few minutes, reaching for them silently and calmly. After a few minutes, she simply snuggled in and went to sleep next to her mother's breast. Our little joke was that she didn't cry at all until about 2 hours after the birth when her older brother bothered her and then she let us know that she DID know how to cry! I believe this is the hallmark of a baby who is respected during birth.

During my prenatals, I talk to the babies. I let them know who I am and what my intentions are. It might sound silly but I just narrate to them what I am doing. "Oh hi Baby! How are you today? I'm just going to feel around to see what position you are in. This is exactly the right position Baby! Good for you!" Remember that fetal hearing begins as early as 10 weeks. Sure, maybe they can't understand the words that I am saying but they hear my intentions to treat them as an individual, capable of feeling emotions. They understand that I have no intention to hurt them. I also encourage both parents to talk to their baby regularly. I have found that women tend to have shorter labors if they explain the birth process to their baby.  

During the birth, I imagine that there could be no better experience for the baby then being received by his parents. Philosophically, I've always liked the idea that the parents were the ones who created the baby and they should be the first ones to touch him.

In homebirths, we have a baby station too. It keeps the newborn warm and fed and loved. It's his Mother! I rarely use a bulb syringe because babies are very, very good at clearing up their own mucus. Try sticking one of those up your nose and see how it feels! I've done that so I only use a bulb syringe if it will truly be helpful and only after telling the baby what I am doing and why. 

As long as the baby is transitioning normally (as nearly all of them do), I would never even consider doing a newborn exam for at least an hour after the birth. During that hour, he needs to be with mom and dad, skin to skin, being fawned over and stroked. Mom needs to do that too! It regulates her blood pressure and releases huge amounts of the bonding hormone oxytocin. 

If a baby isn't transitioning very well, he still needs to be with his mom. It goes against every rational argument that a baby who isn't oxygenated properly should be removed from his oxygen supply (his umbilical cord) and taken away from his mom, the very person who has sustained him thus far and who can actually stabilize him herself. If I need to intervene, I do it right on the mother, with the mother and father talking to their baby. 

This is homebirth. Mothers, fathers, and babies treated with respect. My deepest wish is that this respect becomes part of our culture. That when you see a baby treated with respect, THAT seems normal. I want parents to see that rough treatment of their newborn for exactly what it is...ABUSE! Every baby deserves to be treated with respect and dignity. Every parent needs to demand it. Every careprovider needs to ask themself if they inflict pain and suffering on newborns. Even if it is unintentional, that treatment is the baby's first experience with life on Earth. Respect and dignity. Every birth. Every baby. Every time! 

There's a certain look people give me when I mention Ecstatic Birth. You know the "You are talkin' crazy talk now!" look. A couple of months ago a male friend of mine who has 2 young kids called and left a message with me after he had heard my voicemail message which mentions Ecstatic Birth classes. He was like "And yeah...I'd kinda like to talk to you about this ecstatic birth thing and like how...that would be...possible." It was a laugh out loud moment!

So what do I mean when I say that a birth was ecstatic? I think of the hormonal blueprint that nature intends to be in place during birth. When birth is undisturbed and the mother is not fearful, birth is ecstatic. When birth is disturbed and/or the mother is fearful, birth is less than ecstatic!

Let's talk about what happens during labor. Contrary to popular belief, the uterus does not "squeeze" the baby out. That's not how it works. A contraction, or surge as I prefer to call them because let's face it, it just sounds better, is the action and relaxation of 2 muscles. For the next couple of moments, bend and straighten your arm. When you bend your arm, your bicep contracts and your tricep relaxes. Does it hurt to do this? A uterus contracts the exact same way.

The uterus is made up of vertical muscle fibers and horizontal muscle fibers. The vertical muscles are meant to contract and draw up the bottom of the uterus to open the cervix. The horizontal muscles are meant to relax around the cervix. Their job of holding the cervix shut for 9 months is done! During a surge, the horizontal muscles relax and the vertical muscles pull the uterus up and the cervix open.

Now let's look at how hormones affect this action during labor. There are basically 2 ways labor can go hormonally. There's the fearful, adrenaline filled way and the calm, relaxed, feeling good endorphin way. We'll start with the fearful way.

Let's say that a woman grew up hearing birth stories that scared her. She had never heard of a birth being anything but excruciatingly painful. Then, she gets pregnant and goes to the doctor. There are all these tests and procedures that imply that pregnancy isn't safe. Worry sets in. Labor starts and she is scared for the baby's life, afterall, everything that has led up to this point has told her that pregnancy and birth are not safe. She goes to the hospital early in labor, the transportation of herself during labor being the first disruption in the birth process. She arrives at the hospital and is asked to fill out paperwork, answer a bunch of questions, and pee in a cup to ensure that she is healthy. "Do you have a living will?" the nurse asks. This is a routine question that they must ask. She's thinking, "Am I going to need one?" "What's your pain level on a scale of 1-10, 10 being the worst pain you've ever felt in your life?" "I guess...a 5," she says as she thinks about what it will be like to get to 10. She is strapped onto the fetal monitor and an IV is started "just in case." In case of what? is the lingering question in her mind. Now, left alone with her partner in a brightly lit room, surrounded by equipment that implies that birth is dangerous, unable to move around freely, now is where labor gets painful.

What has happened is that her body has dumped adrenaline into her system. Adrenaline sounds at first like it might be a good hormone for labor but the opposite is true. Adrenaline intensifies feelings of pain. Physically, when adrenaline is released it tells the body that this is not a safe place to let the baby out. The horizontal muscles around the cervix contract instead of relax so the vertical muscles press ever harder onto a cervix that refuses to open. The body begins to use the baby's head as a sort of battering ram to try to pry the cervix open. Ouch for both parties! The woman's body goes into preservation mode and much of the oxygenated blood is shunted away from the uterus to all of the vital organs in the mother's body. Less oxygen means 2 things. 1.) The baby has less oxygen and is much more likely to go into distress. and 2.) The uterus has less oxygen to work therefore it hurts more and works less effectively.

Hormonally, having adrenaline coursing through the body inhibits the release of 2 hormones, oxytocin and endorphins. Oxytocin is the hormone of labor and is necessary to produce effective surges. Endorphins counteract feelings of pain and help women cope with labor effectively. Basically her body has been given the message that it is not safe to birth here. Back when we lived in the wild, this response was incredibly necessary because a woman might need to stop labor in the presence of a predator. In this modern birth situation, one of 2 things will happen. If her body feels she is past the point of no return, the baby will be born quickly but not without a lot of pain and a feeling of loss of control by the mother. She will birth without the benefit of her body's feel good morphine-like drug, endorphins. The most likely situation that will arise though is that oxytocin is inhibited and labor ceases. It will begin again when she feels calm and safe again. My record for this happening was 5 times over a 5 day period. Every day the woman would labor at home beautifully only to have labor stop when she arrived at the hospital. She would go home, labor beautifully some more until it seemed progress had been made and then return to the hospital a centimeter or so more dilated. But labor always stopped at the hospital. Finally on the 5th day of her labor she arrived at 5cm and her body took off in labor as if it had tried waiting her out as long as possible but now it made the decision to just birth the baby as quickly as possible.

Fortunately for the hospital, they don't have to wait around for women to release oxytocin. If they did we might see a lot more doulas comforting laboring women, coaxing them to relax. There's this little drug called Pitocin which is synthetic oxytocin. Sounds great right? It's *just* like what your body releases...not quite! Normally oxytocin and endorphins go hand in hand. When oxytocin is released, it amps up the surges but endorphins are released to counteract any pain sensations. But, when pitocin is given through an IV, endorphins are not released. The woman is left with ever increasing surges, stronger and closer together than her body would ever give them to her, and she has none of her natural pain-killers on board.

Now you see why birth is portrayed as the "I HATE YOU! YOU DID THIS TO ME!! GIVE ME DRUGS NOOOWWWW!" fiasco that the media so loves. How many of you have even lived it? I hear these stories all the time and when I used to do hospital births, it was how I saw birth most of the time. Now let's look at the other calmer, gentler way that Mother Nature intends for birth.

Let's take the same woman who has grown up hearing scary birth stories. But somehow in there some where she decides that homebirth is for her. Maybe she heard just one homebirth story or read just one thing about it but she knows it is how she wants to birth. Throughout pregnancy she sees her midwife for at least an hour every prenatal and is able to discuss her hopes and fears. Her fears are neither discarded and shunned nor nurtured and given fuel. They are discussed, information is given, and plans are made. Every appointment the woman hears about another woman who had a triumphant birth. Information is given about every test and procedure. Her and her partner discuss and decide upon each test, procedure, and treatment. The decisions are theirs alone and they are respected. She and her partner take a childbirth class, read,  watch videos, and learn together how to be calm and relaxed when the big day comes. When labor arrives, they tune into each other. They keep the lights dim, they cuddle and sway, her partner whispers words of encouragement. The surges are each stronger than the last and labor progresses quickly but they are never stronger than the mom can handle. The midwife arrives quietly and integrates herself respectfully into the woman's birth space. After looking deeply into her midwife's eyes for reassurance, the woman feels that all is well (because it is!). Soon she feels her body change rhythms and powerfully turn to pushing her baby out. It is strong and powerful but the woman feels that she is too. She births her baby gently, quickly, efficiently and the biggest flood of hormones in her entire life begins.

Physically what happen when a woman feels safe and secure during labor is the uterus floods with oxygen. The baby is supplied with plentiful oxygen-rich blood and the uterus is able to work effectively with minimal effort. The horizontal muscles around the cervix relax perfectly so the vertical muscles merely need to gather the uterus upwards to gently open the cervix. When this happens, labor need not be painful at all. In fact, you'd be surprised how many women tell me that it wasn't painful at all, hard work but not painful.

Hormonally, the two buddies oxytocin and endorphins walk hand in hand, each feeding off the other. More oxytocin = more endorphins = more oxytocin = more endorphins. Can you imagine a birth in which a woman coped better and better as labor progressed? I see it all the time. Most notably I had this homebirth client who was a first time mama. She was really needy and whiny in the beginning of labor. "Oh my back! It hurts so much" etc. I started to worry about how she would cope as labor progressed. Much to my surprise, the woman who needed constant reassurance during early labor had progressed into a stronger and stronger woman as her labor progressed. By the time she was pushing, she was completely silent and within herself. Most first time mamas look for reassurance when their body starts pushing but not her! I knew she had been pushing the past few surges but imagine my surprise when she suddenly said out of the silence "He's out. The baby's out." and she calmly reached in the water and brought her baby to the surface. Afterwards she said the beginning was hard but after that it felt like she was "on a high" and like she "could do anything." She said she felt completely in tune, instinctive, yet in control. This is what Mother Nature intended! 

Mother Nature's next secret is the true secret to ecstatic birthing. When mom has birthed this way and remains for the most part undisturbed postpartum AND she has her baby with her at all times, her body begins the biggest hormone dump of her life. She is flooded, literally flooded with oxytocin. Here's something I didn't mention before: Oxytocin, while being the hormone of labor, is mostly the hormone of LOVE. Think back to a time you fell in love. What did you feel in your body? That was oxytocin! It is also the hormone of bonding and guess what? It is the hormone is orgasm! That's right, your body releases oxytocin to bring on orgasm. So now, a few minutes postpartum, the woman's body is flooded with this lovey-dovey hormone. Suddenly, and it is quite sudden sometimes, the mom is gushing about her baby, exploring every inch of him. "I love him SO MUCH!" she says over and over. And thus she and her baby are bonded for life, her milk comes in sooner, she feels that all is well in the world. In short, she is ECSTATIC!